~the reflection ritual

Circa 2023

Hi,

It’s been 365 days since I sent out my previous letter. This is an apology for abandoning the self. also, a reassurance that we may have tasted dust, but as long as we are alive, we can re-start, again and again.

And here’s everything I learned viscerally through each episode of 2023, which nobody asked for:

Vishakapatnam, April 2023.

be like the ocean. Allow yourself the liberty to rise, curve or crash.

there will be days when the dishes pile up, the laundry looks at you sheepishly and you just can’t. you are in a lull with anguish. don’t beat yourself up. there will be another day when you will have the energy to do it all.

discipline is destiny

somedays you beam with joy for no reason at all. Cuddle yourself then.

sit in silence. dont overstimulate yourself to a point where you see reels as a conducive option to run away from your thoughts

human touch is a blessing. honour it.

shake yourself up. Often.

wear your heart on your sleeve, but not your anguish.

sharpen up your resilience. also, be the kindest to yourself. nobody else will.

don’t lose touch with pen and paper.

there will always be people who don’t like your mere existence. Then, there are the ones who just want to see you smile. Respect both.

loosen up. You cannot insulate yourself from hurt. Maybe it’s another lesson we need to learn.

make a lullaby for your grief

dance. the goofy or professional. helps. a lot.

bad days give depth. dont resist.

give, give, give as much as you can, in your capacity. there is no greater joy.

friendship breakups are equally painful, if not more. we have to find different threads and needles to mend our hearts.

trains or buses, always track live location before setting off. honour your time. carry a book or podcast

hide 500 rupee notes in different nooks. on rainy days, it brings solace.

as we grow older, there are no tests to pass, there are no avenues of everyday validations, and you don’t know if you are doing well or not. no complaints is also a job well done.

buy your family and friends flowers, write handwritten notes send elaborate voicenotes or mindlessly sing for them. Leave no stone unturned to embrace them in louuu.

you don’t have to be the smartest in professional spaces. you will never be. imposter syndrome will cripple you almost every day. But use it as a gift to listen and learn. Be the hardest worker you know. that shit is definitely in your control.

make an exclusive home recipe book and jot down all the recipes passed through your ancestral kitchenette. the joy of just reading through it and making it come alive on plates is unparalleled.

always be ready for a new 12- 24 hour layover/ travel delays. make friends with discomfort.

not every place is yours to shine. know when to play the supporting character.

keep some nuts handy. you never know when you are hungry.

patience is a virtue. the only way out is through it. Sounds cathartic, is not when you experience chaos. but hold on. your resilience bandwidth grows an inch. you can take on more. Maybe that’s the magic people take about.

smile like a fool. many, many days were made just by this virus. it spreads.

Move your body for mental clarity. The serotonin rush is real.

Lastly,

Just yesterday, my friend Aravind reminded me to “protect one’s structures of meaning”. Nurture anything and everything that helps you come alive rather than being a deflated, hollow balloon.

For the past year, I didn’t write a newsletter. This list is an attempt to reclaim my structures of meaning. I hope you find and safeguard yours :)

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grateful for everything 2023 was! Looking at 2024 now with big, puppy eyes. Curious about the experiences ahead :)

leaving you with another favourite verse penned by Javed Akhtar:

“Kyun dare zindagi mein kya hoga. Kuch na hoga toh tajurba hoga”.

To a healthy and happy 2024!

Love,

Aachieo